Chapter 1
I Am Stephanie
I was born Stephanie Terese Allen, the daughter of Arthur and Barbara Allen. As a child, physically I had a fair caramel complexion, a head full of thick hair, and freckles scattered like cinnamon across my nose. I was tiny in frame but big in spirit. And my smile, just like my father’s, would light up a room. I was often complimented on my big smile! As much as I appreciated the kind overtures about my physical appearance, what mattered most to me was being seen for my intelligence. Even at a young age, I wanted people to know I was more than a pretty face. Growing up I carried myself with a quiet confidence. I was taught to let my good deeds, kindness, and hard work speak louder than my presence. My love for family was unwavering, from my immediate circle to the village of relatives who helped raise me. Their love grounded me. Still, I wasn’t the easiest child to raise. My parents
called me headstrong, hardheaded, and fearless. Spankings didn’t faze me. Timeouts didn’t work. I threw tantrums, challenged authority, and refused to back down when I believed I was right. I was a sweet, generous little girl until
I wasn’t. My parents didn’t always know what to do with me. What they didn’t realize was that I always had a plan.
That fire in me, stubborn as it was, shaped the woman I would become. I’m naturally giving, often to a fault. I care deeply about people and pour myself into the things I believe in. When I commit, I go all in. I’m a leader by instinct, a thinker by nature, and a problem solver at heart. I crave thought-
provoking conversations and like to prepare for what’s ahead, because I don’t handle chaos well. I prefer foresight over emergency.
My parents often said I couldn’t be told anything. Born and raised in Missouri, the Show-Me State, I had to see it, feel it, and survive it for myself. I didn’t believe “fat meat was greasy” until I got burned. But those hard lessons built
me. They gave me grit. And they taught me that what doesn’t break you will absolutely shape you. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit and a creator’s mind. I’ve dreamt up programs, inventions, and big ideas, some still waiting to be born. And that’s okay. I still
believe in myself. Age doesn’t intimidate me. There’s more ahead. Loyalty runs deep in my veins. If I love you, you know it, and you get all of me. I show up, I support, I stay. But cross me, and I will walk away, no matter how close we
once were. I treat people well, usually better than they expect, but if pushed too far, I can be temperamental. I’ve
grown softer with time, but I still have edges. mIn my younger years, my mouth was quick and cutting. I could shut people down with my words. I’m not proud of that. I’m a Taurus, and yes, we have a temper when provoked. These days, I choose silence over sharp words. I’ve learned the power of walking away. I’m a romantic at heart. I’ve always believed in love, the deep, expressive, soul-stirring kind. I’ve been blessed to experience that kind of love three times. Some never get it once. I still believe a fourth may be out there. My heart opens to emotional depth, compassion, and wit. I love to laugh. I
love hard, and when I’ve loved you, you will know it! Later in life, I discovered I’m an empath. I can sense people’s emotions, sometimes even predict outcomes. I see things others miss. I also have a knack for problem-solving.
I can usually offer clarity when others feel stuck. That is one of my gifts.
I’ve always pushed myself to succeed. I’m creative. A go-getter. I’ve never liked being told what to do, so I climbed every ladder I could, determined to be in charge of my own destiny. I’m a lifelong student of culture, drawn to people from all walks of life. Travel has expanded me, challenged me, and inspired me. I’m still chasing my dream of seeing all four corners of the earth. The world is vast and beautiful, and I want to witness it all. This is my journey. This is my truth. I write this memoir because I was here. Because even now, in my golden years, I am still learning, still emotionally connected, still speaking my truth, and fully at peace with who I am.
Chapter 2
The Family
“It is the people who nurture you, support you, champion you, lead by example, and embrace your failures and flaws who spark your journey to becoming yourself.” My Mother’s Arms: My first memory of feeling safe and loved was in my mother’s arms. From the very beginning, I was attached to her hip. She could never put me down. Whenever she tried, I would cry until she picked me up again. Taking care of the house was nearly impossible for her. She cooked, cleaned, and worked with me attached. Even as a baby, I adored her. That early grip on my mother marked the beginning of a long, beautiful, and sometimes turbulent relationship. At times it was misunderstood, at others deeply loving. Even now, as I write my memoir, our relationship still grips me. At the time of this writing, my mother is 98 years old. Ours is a relationship I continue to admire, yet it haunts me. I live, even now, in the shadow of my mother. Wrapped in Love: My earliest sense of self was shaped by the safety, protection, and love I received from both of my parents. Even as a small child, I knew I was cherished. I was the first child born to an older group of family members, and I quickly learned that I was not just loved, I was adored.
My parents, Arthur and Barbara Allen, both attended Lincoln University in Jefferson City, Missouri. My father came from a proud and highly educated lineage, and my mother from a deeply spiritual one. Together, they built a legacy rooted in education, faith, tradition, and love. But long before I understood that legacy, I was simply a child, wrapped in the arms of people who loved me unconditionally.
